Monday, December 9, 2013

8 jokes less disappointing than your Hanukkah


Applebee's announced that they are putting tablets on the tables of all their restaurants. Which is an upgrade from what they usually put on the tables of their restaurants: food.

President Obama said he uses a Blackberry since he's not allowed to have an iPhone for security reasons. His phone is secure because nobody's actually interested in stealing a Blackberry.

This year, Thanksgiving coincided with first night of Hanukkah. It's the story of how the Jews only had enough oil for one night, but made it last for eight nights of reheating leftovers.

Detroit Lions running back Reggie Bush likened taking big hits during an NFL game to "being in a car crash." While Willie Nelson likened taking big hits during an NFL game to "being in a tour bus".

In a new documentary, David Beckham said, as a young professional soccer player, he had to masturbate in front of teammates as part of a hazing ritual. Which explains why he's so comfortable being in public in only his underwear.

This year, there was a large rise in people naming their babies after characters from Breaking Bad. Though there was also a large drop in people naming their babies after characters from What Would Ryan Lochte Do?

A new study found that the state that buys the most large-sized condoms is North Dakota. However North Dakota is also the state that buys the most rubber bands.

A couple who went through a McDonald's drive-thru was given a bag full of money instead of their order. But to be fair, the order taker did ask them "Would you like cash with that?"

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