Thursday, June 11, 2015

Topical Monologue Jokes Too PC for College Students

An undercover operation has revealed that TSA agents failed to detect fake bombs and weapons 95 percent of the time. Though they did have a 100 percent success rate in finding travelers’ genitals.

According to a new survey, the country with the highest percentage of people confident in their bodies is Mexico. The survey was conducted by tequila shots.


McDonald's has hired President Obama's former press secretary Robert Gibbs to help fight falling sales. Which explains McDonald's new marketing push, "Would you like hope and change with that?"

The jockey for Triple Crown winner American Pharaoh says that the way to pick a winner is to check out its penis. "Duh!" said women.

A Florida man was recently arrested after arguing with his roommate and using pizza as a weapon. The man says his only regret is that he didn't swallow the evidence.

According to new research, owning cats as a child can put you at risk for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. It also puts children at risk of becoming adults who die alone.

A new test can detect every virus you've ever gotten in your life. The test was made by studying Kesha.

A film about the history of FIFA bombed at the box office last weekend. Which is surprising, since most critics gave the film "two thumbs up for the right price".

Kim Kardashian says that she and Kanye West haven't told anyone the sex of their baby. While Caitlyn Jenner says the baby should wait to tell everyone for itself.

Senator Lindsay Graham says that since he's not married, if he's elected president he'll have "rotating First Ladies". He went on to say that he's also open to that idea even if he's not elected president.

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