Sunday, March 16, 2014

Topical Late Night Monologue Jokes To Read When You've Blacked Out


During a recent festival performance, Lady Gaga was puked on. Though to be fair, she was dressed as a toilet.

Earlier this week a graphic on Fox News misspelled "spelling bee." Then later it got worse when Fox News misspelled "Obama" as H-i-t-l-e-r.

After missing a costume change during a concert, Miley Cyrus had to run onstage in just her underwear. Or as Lena Dunham calls it, "overdressing".

On Wednesday night the U.S. Capitol was left in darkness due to a power outage. Sources say Joe Biden was able to keep busy by reading ghost stories.

The Los Angeles Lakers have announced that Kobe Bryant will not play for the rest of the season. Despite this, experts predict he'll still lead the Lakers in scoring.

According to a new survey, Buffalo is the most affordable city in America. Which makes sense because anyone living in Buffalo is there because they can't afford somewhere better.

A right-wing pastor says that Disney's "Frozen" is encouraging children to be gay. Which is especially true if children watch "Frozen" alone with a priest.

In Seattle, a Subway worker used a sandwich knife to scare off a robber. The employee has been promoted from "Sandwich Artist" to "Head of Sandwich Artist Security".

After the first month of legalized marijuana in the state, Colorado collected $3.5 million in tax revenue. Or as they're calling it, potheads paying to fill potholes.

Paul Stanley of KISS says he wants the band to continue even after he's gone. "Way ahead of you," said the band's accountant.

No comments:

Post a Comment