Sunday, March 9, 2014

Topical Late Night Monologue Jokes Threatening to Invade Ukraine


A new study shows men drinking in bars often sexually harass women who aren’t interested. Or as most men call it, “flirting”.

Oscar Mayer has launched a version of Lunchables that's aimed at grown-ups. It's the perfect meal for adults who still have their lunch packed by their parents.

Three third-graders in California were caught smoking marijuana. Teachers became suspicious when the students actually wanted seconds at the school cafeteria.

Radio Shack said it plans to close over 1,000 stores in an attempt to turn around its fortunes. And if that doesn't work, their plan is to ride a time machine back to the '80s.

Kurt Busch will try to become only the second driver to complete the Indianapolis 500 and the Coca-Cola 600 on the same day. Though even more challenging is anyone who attempts to watch both races on the same day and stay awake.

An Ohio fifth-grader was suspended after he pointed his fingers in the shape of a gun and pretended to shoot a fellow classmate. Though in the boy's defense, he also approached the classmate and pretended to surgically remove the bullets.

A Walmart shopper in Kansas lost a tooth during a fight over the self-checkout machine. Even worse, it was the man's only tooth.

A Walmart shopper in Kansas lost a tooth during a fight over the self-checkout machine. It's why Walmart has changed their slogan to "Watch out for falling prices and teeth".

A woman in New York won a $2 million lottery after using numbers she saw in a fortune cookie. Though she should've known because the fortune read "You will need a financial manager."


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