Monday, September 29, 2014

topical monologue jokes more flimsy than the new iPhone


A Virgin America flight had to make an emergency landing when a passenger wouldn't stop masturbating. Flight attendants became suspicious when they noticed only one seat experiencing turbulence.

The son-in-law of Osama Bin Laden has been sentenced to life in U.S. prison. Though he said he's still dreading it less than any time he was invited to have dinner with his in-laws.

Pizza Hut is testing healthier “Skinny Slice Pies”. Or as customers will call them, "appetizers".

A Wisconsin man developed a medical condition which makes him have 100 orgasms a day. Doctors say the best way to treat the condition is with absolutely nothing.

Justin Bieber tweeted Wednesday that he busted his eardrum cliff diving. As a result, cliff diving has been awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor.

A Virgin America flight had to make an emergency landing when a passenger was masturbating mid flight. Even more disturbing, the passenger was reading a copy of Skymall magazine.

Scientists says that water on Earth is older than the sun and solar system. More specifically, the water in Larry King's swimming pool.

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