Corny topical jokes to tell your dad on Father's Day

Business in the front, divorce party in the back!

Billy Ray Cyrus and his wife have filed for divorce. Sources say the couple are splitting on the grounds of irreconcilable hairdos.

Famed Los Angeles helicopter reporter Bob Tur has announced plans to have a sex change to become a woman. Or as Tur reported it, "watch out for a nasty collision between a scalpel and my penis".

A man is suing his doctor after a botched operation left him with an erection that lasted eight months. Though to be fair, the doctor was Kate Upton, MD.

Lenny Kravitz is designing the sets for Queen Latifah's new talk show. As expected, Kravitz's new work is being wildly praised by dull, white people.

Evelyn Kozak, the world's oldest Jewish, person has died at age 113. Her family says she died doing what she loved: complaining about how cold she felt.

In a recent interview, Kanye West said that he's the "Steve Jobs of culture". Apple responded to West's comment, calling him the "Kanye West of bullshit".

A Nazi commander living in Minnesota lied to US immigration about his WWII involvement. He faces a maximum punishment of being sentenced to life in Minnesota.

Former NFL player Chad Johnson was sentenced to 30 days in jail for slapping his lawyer's butt in court. Johnson's future cellmates say they can't wait to show him the "proper" way to slap butts.

According to CNN, Google interns make on average almost six thousand dollars per month. Though according to Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, you can make millions more by just pretending to be Google interns.

After news of the NSA spying scandal broke last week, sales of George Orwell's "1984" rose almost 6000% on Amazon. In other words, Americans are protecting their privacy by hiding in the last place the government would find them: behind a book.

A one-armed woman has been crowned Miss Iowa. She was then taken into custody on suspicion of murdering Harrison Ford's wife.

Cher is performing on the season finale of "The Voice". Cher's preparing for "The Voice" by having a plastic surgeon perform on "The Face".

This week, M. Night Shyamalan revealed that he was the ghostwriter of “She's All That.” The news comes on the heels of America revealing it was the ghost audience of "After Earth".

Hillary Clinton has signed up for Twitter. Though it appears her account was hacked after tweeting a lewd picture of her pantsuit.

A Chicago woman has racked up 396 arrests spanning 35 years. The rap sheet has earned her the nickname the "Michael Jordan of Chicago".

While at the Cannes Film Festival, Leonardo DiCaprio reportedly had sex with seven different women. Sources say it's part of DiCaprio's research for his upcoming portrayal of Wilt Chamberlain.