A man in Georgia recently ran into a burning house to save his beer. Though when he got inside he realized it was too late, because he'd already drank it all.
The doctor convicted of killing Michael Jackson was freed early from jail as part of California's plan to reduce prison overcrowding. The move is also part of California's plan to reduce pop star overcrowding.
EA Sports announced that they will no longer produce Tiger Woods video games. But gamers who want to continue playing as Tiger can still bang hookers in Grand Theft Auto.
In China, a man who was having trouble finding a girlfriend cut off his own penis. Which actually helped him find a new girlfriend: Lorena Bobbitt.
A Walmart employee recently asked permission to pray aloud while at work. So now instead of greeting customers he'll be greeting Jesus.
A new study found that sex burns more calories than going for a walk. Unless it's a walk of shame.
British Cargo ships have reportedly been playing Britney Spears songs to scare away Somali pirates. Because if pirates have one weakness, it's earplugs.
It's being reported that Senator Rand Paul plagiarized a speech from Wikipedia. For instance, his speech ended with the footnote "clarification needed".
This week the World's Tallest Man got married. The man asked her to get married by getting down on one knee while she got up on one ladder.
In an effort to improve their relationship with its employees, Walmart plans to promote 25,000 workers. In other words, some greeters have been promoted to head greeters.
A high school student in Pennsylvania was recently suspended for dressing like a homeless person. But in the student's defense, he might've just been dressing like a hipster.
A brewery in Oregon has introduced a donut-flavored beer. So good news, tubby: now you can have your cake and drink it too!
A brewery in Oregon has introduced a donut-flavored beer. They say they expect it to be popular amongst men named Homer Simpson.
A smartphone plugin has been developed that emits a bacon smell when someone receives a text. Which is expected to create a new phenomenon: Text-fast in Bed.
Scientists are still digging for Ice Age fossils in the heart of Los Angeles after a century of discoveries. "Hey, I'm right over here!" said Larry King.
A new study suggests that the function of kissing is not directly related to sex. Said the guy trying to get into your pants.
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