Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Bonus Topical Monologue Jokes For Voting Day


In order to reverse declining sales, Red Lobster has revamped its menu so that it's now 85 percent seafood. However, sales may continue to decline because the revamped menu is still 100 percent Red Lobster.

A company has created a new app that transforms your smartphone into a breathalyzer. For instance, the app will reveal how drunk you are by counting the texts you've sent to ex-girlfriends.


A man who dressed up as a Fox News Reporter for Halloween was attacked. When questioned by police, the man stayed in character by blaming the attack on Barack Obama.

 
A team of scientists has reported using a baby robotic penguin to communicate with real emperor penguins. They say they got the idea from a team who used a dirty, robotic mop to communicate with Steven Tyler.

More than 13 years after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, a resurrected World Trade Center reopened for business Monday. And somewhere, Osama bin Laden must be swimming in his grave.


A security guard was fired after he admitted taking a picture of President Obama's motorcade. The man claims it couldn't have been Obama's motorcade since there was no golf cart.


No comments:

Post a Comment