Sunday, November 2, 2014
Topical Monologue Jokes That Forgot to Fall Back
The elderly inventor of the board game 'Operation' can't afford a real-life operation. But the good news is that the inventor of 'Monopoly' has offered to give him $200 when he passes Go.
Apple CEO Tim Cook has come out as gay. And in a few months a slimmer, more expensive version of him is expected to come out as gay.
This week, an eight year old boy rumored to have Ebola tested negative for the disease. However he did test positive for boogers.
A man in New York was recently arrested for masturbating while driving a school bus. Though to be fair, the man's resume did say that he's great at multitasking.
Students at the University of Pennsylvania can take a course called "Wasting Time on the Internet." The only prerequisite is a course called "Wasting Money on a Diploma."
On Tuesday, an unmanned NASA rocket exploded six seconds after launching. North Korea then accused the U.S. of stealing its technology.
The CEO of the Papa John's pizza chain attended the funeral of an employee who was killed on the job. And after arriving, he made a tribute to the fallen employee by pouring out a garlic sauce.
New Jersey has instituted a mandatory quarantine for healthcare workers returning from Ebola-affected parts of Africa. While Africa has issued a mandatory quarantine for healthcare workers arriving from Axe Body Spray-affected parts of New Jersey.
A recent study shows that eating chocolate can help improve memory. More specifically, it can help you remember when to take an insulin shot.
In order to adapt to the obesity problem in America, car companies have had to introduce fat crash test dummies. These dummies are used to simulate accidents at drive thrus.
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