Week of November 3rd

PayPal is cutting over 300 jobs as part of a major reorganization. A company spokesman says those who are laid off will receive a severance package minus a 2.9% PayPal fee.

The Apple executive that many blamed for the Apple Maps debacle is leaving the company. Though he's expected to return when his phone mistakes Apple headquarters for K-Mart.

Shipbuilders have finished a Steve Jobs designed yacht that resembles a giant iPhone. However, at the yacht's unveiling it stopped working when it was dropped in the water.

When asked about the scrutiny over Christina Aguilera's fluctuating weight, Adam Levine said he "has her back". Which explains why moments later he threw out his back.

Michael Brown, the director of FEMA during Hurricane Katrina, has criticized President Obama for responding to Hurricane Sandy too early. When asked why, Brown said, "Because I still haven't responded to Hurricane Katrina".

Kelsey Grammer took his three-month-old baby to a Halloween party at the Playboy Mansion. When asked why, Grammer explained that it was all part of his Snooki costume.

Mila Kunis was spotted with what appeared to be a baby bump. Either that or she's taking nine months to punk Ashton Kutcher.

Michaelangelo's Sistine Chapel turned 500 years old on Thursday. The masterpiece shows God creating the first man on Earth by reaching down to touch the finger of Larry King.

Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel is celebrating its 500th birthday. The painting famously depicts stories from the Old Testament including the Creation, the fall of man, and Larry King's bar mitzvah.

Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel painting is celebrating the 500 year anniversary since it first opened to the public. "It seems like it was just was yesterday," said Larry King.

Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel turned 500 years old on Thursday. The narrative painting on the chapel's ceiling shows God creating the Sun, Moon, Earth, and Larry King.

Donnie Wahlberg of New Kids on the Block posted video of himself in his flooded New York City apartment after Hurricane Sandy. Officials say Wahlberg is another example of the useless things now washed up in the city.

At a rally in Colorado Friday, vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan said he "smelled success." It was the first time a Colorado crowd smelled like something other than weed.

Anderson Cooper's daytime talk show has been cancelled due to low ratings. Which is tough news for the show's viewers, people stuck in public waiting areas.

Lindsay Lohan tweeted on Monday she was confused over why people were in such a panic about Hurricane Sandy. Because natural disasters actually make shoplifting easier.

A man was fined $1.5 million for pirating gay porn videos. The man has been promised that the charge will appear on his credit statement as something more discreet than "gay porn video fine".

A man in England was arrested for giving out cocaine to trick-or-treaters. Though trick-or-treaters say the real villain was the guy giving out boxes of raisins.

Mark Cuban, billionaire owner of the Dallas Mavericks, has offered to donate $1 million to a charity of Donald Trump's choosing if he shaves his head. The offer was quickly declined by Donald Trump's hair.

Brad Pitt has donated $100,000 to encourage people to support gay marriage. This after Chanel donated $100,000 to encourage Pitt to speak jibberish.

Jon Hamm has released a YouTube video for the Obama campaign explaining the process for voting early. He also warned that voting for Mitt Romney will lead to women being treated like they are on "Mad Men".

A new poll by 60 Minutes said Denzel Washington is the best actor to play Jesus. And in that same poll they said that Denzel Washington in Training Day is the best actor to play overrated Jesus.